Mindset Made Simple Tip #231
New year, new you? Probably not…at least not completely. No matter when they appear on the calendar, new beginnings get us thinking about what we can or need to do differently. I bet you don’t need a new you. But if you are human, you probably thought about a few slight upgrades in the final hours of 2024!
Speaking of “new you”, I gave a lecture the other day on change. It wasn’t in my classroom. It was in my car…to a begrudged, slightly inattentive and uninterested audience also known as my dad! As we left the Cleveland Clinic for the third time in as many months, I told him what the doctor’s notes said after his week-long stay. Simply put, his heart failure is pretty bad (those are the medical terms, of course). To which he responded “Did it also say I have another ten years to go?
“That’s up to you,” I quipped.
I know, I know. We don’t decide the day and time our name is called, but we do influence it and how we live until that day…through our choices!
Write down your weight each day. Drink 60 ounces of liquid or less each day. Eat a low-sodium diet – as the doctor said, “If it tastes good, it has too much salt!” These are the choices he needs to make to stay out of the hospital and on his ten-year track!
Will he do it? I hope so, but history tells me it is going to be a challenge.
My dad isn’t the only one affected by his choices. Each of us is on a train track of sorts. That track’s direction is determined by what we choose to do.
Researchers say we make 35,000 choices a day and have more than 60,000 thoughts a day. (That’s a lot going on up there!)
I mention the 60,000 thoughts because authors Grover and Rhodes of The Choice Point: The Scientifically Proven Method to Push Past Mental Walls and Achieve Your Goals claim that those 60,000 thoughts lead to what they call “choice points” that change our behavior each day…and each behavior is a choice!
Some of the 60,000 thoughts are redundant, ones we had yesterday or last week (or last year!). Others are more significant and directly affect our behavior…through our choices. If even 1% of these thoughts lead to behavior change, that’s 60 yeses, nos, stops or starts a day! WOW!
According to Grover and Rhodes, these pivotal moments or choice points are “Moment(s) that offer two options: mental mutiny or cognitive control.”
What track will my dad choose? Will he choose the one that leads him toward ten more years or the one that will result in another trek up 77N to the Clinic?
It’s one or the other. For every “yes” we are saying “no” to something else…and that ‘something else’ may be what we say we REALLY want! Are we in control, or not?
We don’t like to admit it, but every decision we make, no matter how small, contributes to the trajectory of our lives. The trick is figuring out how we can make conscious decisions that align with our values and objectives more often.
If we are aware of the significance of our everyday choices, we are better able to steer our lives and teams toward what we want. Small things add up and if the small steps aren’t leading us in the right direction, we will never get there, wherever our “there” is!
Unfortunately, we often take the path of least resistance. Why? Because we don’t ask ourselves what taking action (or not) means for our future. So much of what we do is on autopilot, and we are constantly fighting that quick fix, feel-good thought that arrives in our minds before we consider the consequences.
Asking ourselves “why” or what taking action means for the next moment or the next ten years helps us keep perspective on our short and long-term aspirations!
It’s getting into the pantry and eating a handful of chips when you know they are detrimental to your health or your eating plan.
The question is, what do we do next?
Do we throw in the towel and eat the rest of the bag? Or do we adjust later in the day to make up for the sodium or caloric intake?
The first “choice point” is past us. But there are so many more to come! And what we do next influences what happens next…and down the line!
Is a “choice point” like taking the morning off from a workout a big deal? In the grand scheme of things, probably not. But if working out in the morning enhances your ability to focus and allows you to work more efficiently, then it may have had a bigger impact than you realize.
So, you don’t work out? What CAN you do to ensure you have a productive day anyway?
That’s the next “choice point”.
Leaving things to chance or not taking time to evaluate our decisions and whether they are moving us toward or away from what we want is not the best plan! A great way to keep ourselves on track and recognize our daily choice points is a simple Stop–Start–Continue exercise. What do I need to stop doing? What do I need to start doing? And what do I need to continue doing?
We can go a bit deeper and maybe not scare off our “I really don’t want to think about this because I really don’t like change, brain” by adding a few other questions.
· What do I need to stop doing?
· What do I need to do less of?
· What should I continue doing?
· What do I need to do more of?
· What do I need to start doing?
WANT WORKSHEETS FOR THESE EXERCISES? Email me at juliej@ssbperformance.com
We’ll call the “do less of” and “do more of” bridge questions to slide us into evaluating what we do that moves us closer and further away. They allow for less intrusive adjustments as opposed to new behaviors – stopping or starting! The idea is that these less intrusive behaviors help us gain momentum leading to more major changes… with a little less mental pushback!
Want to take it one step further? Go back to Tip #198 and use one of our magic words that influence our behavior. In this Tip, I brought up research that shows that using the word “could”
instead of “should”, “can” or “must” gets our brain looking for options. According to research done by De Drew (2003) and Zhang et. al. (2018) “could” holds immense potential for empowering those we lead, so why wouldn’t it work for us? As I stated, "should" or "must,” can feel restrictive, making options appear binary and restrictive.
Yes. Sometimes we need black or white. Sometimes we need major changes.
But most progress happens slowly (and then, less painfully!). Making something 20 seconds harder to do, choosing to do 10 minutes instead of committing to 1 hour and limiting something for 3 days a week at first to get momentum, can help us gain traction and add up the dividends one positive step at a time!
That makes “what do I need to do more of or less of” more palatable…and ‘could’ takes it one step further.
Too much change often leads to revolt and quitting before we see any progress. As the new commercial says, the 2nd Friday in January is called “Quitter’s Day” for a reason…and that reason is usually because we fall off the wagon and don’t realize the next moment presents us with another choice point…and that determines what happens next!
Ultimately, our train track progress depends on what Dr. Ziegler said a million times to my teams “By doing what?” What are we going to do? Maybe start with what ‘could’ we do, then line those things up with where you want to go. Finally, take time to evaluate how your small (and large) choices lay one track after another.
Success, and in my dad’s case, health, is driven by a cycle of behaviors that move us closer to or further away from our goals. We rarely don’t know what to do. It’s whether or not we ask ourselves whether this choice points us in the right direction or not that helps keep us on track.
Choice points present themselves with every thought. How will you set yourself up to ensure you are on the right track?
Manage the moments!
Julie
P.S. I WORK WITH TEAMS…athletic teams, sales teams and corporate teams! Bring me in to do a one-time seminar or work with me throughout the year. Either way, I can help your team build Mental Performance Operating Systems to improve their performance! Contact me to find out how!
Send me a text at 234-206-0946 or an email at juliej@ssbperformance.com and schedule a call to see how we can enhance your program’s mental approach!
Julie Jones
Mental Performance Coach
SSB Performance
juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946