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“In your head, in your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie.
What's in your head, in your head? Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie-ie”
That’s what’s in my head as I write this tip…The Cranberries and their 1994 hit “Zombie”.
1994? How can that be? Ouch!
I am building a Mental Performance Operating System (MPOS) workbook for my new course, and topic #2 is all about self-talk! Last week, we discussed what we broadcast with our emotions, posture, facial expressions, and words.
This week it’s all about what’s “in your head”!
This is a perfect topic for me this week, too. I’ve been monitoring and working to adjust my self-talk all month, but this weekend may have been the most difficult.
Because…we’re back! At the Cleveland Clinic, that is. We just left on the 24th after my dad’s 14-day stay…and I was hoping we’d put some distance between that date and our next trip downtown. But things don’t always go as planned.
After burning the candle at both ends during stay #1 and getting caught up in between, something caught me, and I thought I needed to check myself into the ER as I was checking my dad in this weekend.
As Trevor Moawad said in It Takes What It Takes, “Sometimes there isn’t much we can do immediately to make our circumstances better. But we can do a number of things to make them worse.”
And I've thought of plenty of ways that could make things worse!
It’s those conversations we have with ourselves—the silent, unfiltered voices that run ramped in our head that shape our mindset – and therefore our performance - more than we realize. And in these, we can make ourselves miserable or we can manage what’s in front of us. It’s a choice! But just because it’s simple, doesn’t mean it’s easy!
Self-talk isn’t just noise in the background; it’s the operating system behind how we approach challenges, respond to frustrations and mistakes and ultimately, how we feel, make decisions and perform.
We all have that inner voice. Sometimes it cheers us on and reminds us of what we have. Other times it can be our biggest critic and point out, in full detail, what is wrong.
Research in positive psychology and neuroscience tells us that the words we choose, those we broadcast and even those kept secret in our heads, shape our emotional responses and influence our physical performance. Self-talk can literally change the brain…and the game!
At the most basic level, self-talk impacts the release of key neurotransmitters, the chemical messengers in the brain. Positive self-talk has been shown to trigger the release of dopamine and serotonin, which are closely tied to our motivation, happiness, and well-being. Dopamine, known as the “reward” chemical and ”the molecule of more”, reinforces behaviors that feel good and helps create a loop. Productive self-talk makes us feel better…and if we use this “feel good” chemical to our advantage, it can make us more likely to keep it up.
Another chemical boost provided by words that help instead of hinder is a bump in serotonin, which is linked to mood regulation. When we use affirming self-talk that serotonin boost helps us stay calm and grounded, especially in stressful situations.
Using helpful or productive self-talk also helps reduce cortisol, the hormone released during stress.
When we’re focused on the problem or what might happen, cortisol levels rise, preparing the body for a “fight or flight” response. If we need to get the heck out…this is great; cortisol is useful in getting us up and out! But over time, it takes a toll, increasing fatigue, anxiety and even physical tension.
When we talk about what we want or what is going well, we feel more controlled, even under pressure. This can help keep cortisol levels more balanced, which promotes better focus and reduces physical symptoms of stress.
It’s that negativity bias we are constantly battling! I’ve been fighting mine…big time…for weeks.
This innate tendency isn’t helpful when it comes to what’s in our heads! BUT…we aren’t doomed to our nature. One of the most exciting aspects of self-talk is its ability to change the brain’s actual structure!
When we choose to use more affirming self-talk regularly, we’re kicking in the brain’s ability to form new neural connections. We are essentially building new neural pathways and teaching the brain a new pattern, making our new operating system of productive and affirming self-talk more automatic and natural. Isn’t neuroplasticity awesome?
Aside from forging new neuropathways, the self-talk we choose changes the way the amygdala, the brain’s emotional processing center responsible for “fight or flight”, responds! Michigan State University, professor Dr. Jason Moser has found that positive self-talk can reduce activity in the amygdala.
The opposite is true when we engage in self-criticism or doubt. In this case, the amygdala senses a threat, activating a stress response that can cloud our focus and drain our energy. A simple shift from “stinkin’ thinkin’” to a more useful and productive dialog can quickly calm the amygdala, sending a message to the brain that there’s no need to freak out. This “downregulation” of the amygdala can help keep us focused, composed and in charge of our response-ability to challenge.
When we repeatedly choose to adjust our self-talk, it not only changes brain chemistry and neural pathways but also transforms our inner narrative which changes the way we interpret experiences. Over time, our constructive inner dialogue shifts our mindset from “I can’t” to “I’ll try,” from “I’m failing” to “I’m learning.” This shift, in turn, creates a feedback loop that improves our confidence and emotional resilience. We are kinder to ourselves, we approach things to evaluate instead of judge and as Dr. Kristin Neff found, we suffer less anxiety and depression!
But how do we take advantage of the physiological changes available through such a seemingly simple shift?
We must notice…and dispute our inner “Zombies”. Here are a few suggestions.
First, we can use Dr. Marty Seligman’s “disputation” operating system – ABCDE. Identify the Activating event. Evaluate your Beliefs about it, both rational and irrational. Consider the Consequences of your beliefs. Dispute the irrational beliefs – like a lawyer would tear down an argument. Feel the shift in Energy as you shift your perspective on the situation.
Or, you can get out your trusty implementation intentions. “If…then” statements help! We don’t control our thoughts, so sometimes is best to have a “canned and planned” response when the Zombies appear out of nowhere. Remember, you can always CHOOSE ONE THOUGHT OVER ANOTHER. And under pressure, sometimes it’s best to have one at the ready!
Finally, I’ll go back to my favorite new tool, Dr. Becky Kennedy’s AVP process. Acknowledge your thought. It is real. Trying to pretend you aren’t thinking “This really sucks” won’t help it go away. I’ve used this several times over the past few days when I slip into victim mode. “There’s that ___________ thought again.”
They Validate it. “It makes sense I feel this way right now (for whatever reason is true)”.
Then, Dr. Kennedy says “Permit” it. She means you don’t have to purge it. You can go about your business with it there. It isn’t in charge.
I added another P to the process. I like to shift to my Plan. Where are we? What can we do? How are we going to do it? Or you can use P for Perspective. One thought I have had lately is “At least my dad’s not a sissy, a woe-is-me actor or complainer”, when it comes to this stuff, at least. Politics? That’s a whole other subject 😊.
Whatever tool you choose, even if it’s just a simple, “Is this thought helping me question”.
Changing the words you use changes the way everything about you, inside and out, works!
I know it’s not easy…trust me! I also know that when I make a shift...I am better for it!
Manage your thoughts to help manage the moments!
Julie
P.S. Let’s build your team’s Mental Performance Operating System! Contact me to find out how!
Send me a text at 234-206-0946 or an email at juliej@ssbperformance.com and schedule a call to see how we can enhance your program’s mental approach!
Julie Jones
Mental Performance Coach
SSB Performance
juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946
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