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Paying Attention to YOUR Mental Game: Building a Coach's Toolbox for Success
I could suck the air out of a football field-sized facility! And I am certain I did it too many times!
If I could go back and do it all over again, this is where I would start first in implementing the things I teach today. Plain and simple, I’d be more aware of WHAT I WAS BROADCASTING!
There were times I chose my non-so-pleased disposition was warranted…during a proverbial “come to Jesus” meeting or during times when being stern…or downright pissed off was appropriate to make a point. Even my even-keeled coach lost it once or twice…and boy, did we stand at attention then!
But it’s all the other times, ones I don’t even remember but know happened, that makes me feel “yuck”!
As John O’Sullivan from The Way of Champions says each week, “Your influence is never neutral” and the more we are aware of this fact, the better for everyone.
This is why I spent last Friday talking about “You’re Contagious” with student-athletes at Thomas Worthington and Worthington Kilbourne High Schools. We are going through a 6-week leadership series, and this is one of the most important messages we will discuss.
As leaders…and teammates…as humans…we’ve all witnessed the entire atmosphere shift as one person walks in…or out of the room. This phenomenon applies to us, too! Walk into any locker room, boardroom or practice session and you’ll notice that the energy is influenced heavily by those at the top and those at the end of the boardroom table or bench…but it doesn’t stop there!
Whether we realize it or not, our mindset and emotional state set off a ripple effect and this “emotional contagion” comes with a price…and we want to be sure we are stacking the good stuff!
We mirror others. We catch yawns, smiles and even stress! Yes, we can catch stress!. You may recall research I have shared before by Rubin et.al (2011) where they put sweat pads under the arms of guys jumping from a plane for the first time and guys working out. Jumping from a plane, whether you want to do it or not puts the body into a stressed state. Running on a treadmill might put you in one, too, but in this case, these guys weren’t running a race, they were just sweating.
The researchers then found 14 people to smell the sweat pads (probably college kids for $30.00 😊).
Here’s the crazy part. They found that when these suckers…I mean, participants inhaled the skydivers’ sweat, and they had an increased stress response indicating that stress-related odors may sensitize the brain, causing it to interpret neutral stimuli as emotionally charged or potentially threatening.
They caught the skydivers’ stress.
If we can catch stress from dried sweat, what do we catch from those standing next to us or in front of us?
Better yet, what are you throwing out to be caught?
Neuroscientists have found that the brain’s mirror neurons activate when we observe someone else’s emotions or actions, enabling us to feel what they feel. Watch a contact sport at a bar.
When the crowd sees a big hit, what is their reaction? “AWWWW” and everyone covers their ribs or head.
We feel what others feel, even through a TV screen!
And here’s the thing, these mirror neurons don’t just help us understand others; they can influence our own behavior and outlook.
In our world, where cohesion and shared goals are essential, the emotions a leader “broadcasts” set the tone and frequency of the room!
We know that EVERYTHING WE DO communicates something…and our emotional broadcasts are constant, influencing every conversation, meeting, and interaction.
Words, tone, posture and emotions are powerful—and as leaders, we set the stage for what becomes “contagious.” We can’t control everything, but we can control how we show up and we can hold a mirror up for those around us, reminding them that “this is how we show up!”
To keep emotions in check, we must understand our RESPONSE-ABILITY…or our typical responses! We know that self-awareness is our superpower. I was reading in JP Nerbun’s book, The Culture System today about Dean Smith. Smith’s former player and assistant coach, Dave Hammers, described Smith’s ability to be “very calm and very factual at the most intense moments in our games.” Hammers goes on to praise Smith for being the right coach at the right time…all the time.
That wasn’t me! That’s for sure! I bet it’s not always you, either!
As leaders, practicing calm responses under pressure shows others that they, too, can maintain control in stressful situations. And here are a few ideas on how we can do just that!
First, Hanners says that Smith was too busy “analyzing and searching for solutions” to let anger or frustration overtake him. He talked (and thought) about what he could do, not what someone else should have done.
I don’t know what Smith did before practices or games to get ready, but what we do here changes the environment from the start…and this changes our opportunity for connection, conversation and correction (if needed).
Another way to ensure we influence the time we have with those we lead productively is to notice our physical tension before we step over the threshold and into the environment.
Check for tension in your jaw, shoulders or your gut! Do a quick rapid relaxation…tighten everything up on an inhale and be a Swiftie and shake it out on the exhale. You’ll be surprised what lets go!
A simple tool that gets overlooked by many is setting emotional intentions. The Portland State Softball team and staff set emotional and behavioral intentions every day before practice. What better way to start than to talk about how you will show up as your best self to be your best influence on the environment…and your performance?
Everyone, and I mean everyone, needs a pre-performance routine! What do you need to do to get to your optimal arousal level? Do you need to pump it up? Have a system ready. Do you need to chill? What’s your plan? You will not create a good one in the moment. Plan ahead. Practice it. Write it down. Have a reason for each step and keep it simple. But do it!
Finally, tracking our emotional patterns can help us be more aware of what takes us away from being our best. Take a few minutes to record end-of-the-day reflections on your emotional states and what contributed to them. You’re identifying situations that challenge you emotionally which allows you to prepare your when…then plans. This allows you to find that pause between stimulus and response that Viktor Frankl talks about in Man’s Search For Meaning.
And finding that pause changes EVERYTHING!
We set the stage, the tone and we model the expectations. We are contagious.
I know I was the germ instead of the Vitamin C, as Jon Gordon says, far too many times. But with these simple tools and some attention intention and repetition, we can infect our environments to everyone’s advantage and broadcast our best…no matter what happens to us, around us or even because of us!
It’s our Response-ability!
Manage the moments and your frequency!
Julie
P.S. Let’s get tools to those you lead. Contact me to find out how!
Send me a text at 234-206-0946 or an email at juliej@ssbperformance.com and schedule a call to see how we can enhance your program’s mental approach!
Julie Jones
Mental Performance Coach
SSB Performance
juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946
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