I’ve been doing some “me-search” over the past five days. It wasn’t a planned study. I was supposed to be on a family trip to Washington D.C., but sometimes things don’t go how we think they will!
Instead of spending the long weekend in D.C. with my family, I have spent my days at the Cleveland Clinic with my dad…a trip that included a brief stay in the ICU. Thank goodness we made the trip to the ER on Thursday, or this story may have a very different ending!
Situations like this are a great reminder of the power of mental performance tools. I have been practicing what I preach since Thursday, and overall, the me-search has been productive…and the tools I have implemented have saved me a ton of energy…and angst!
Most people think mental training is for those who perform—on a field, on a stage, or in some sort of competition. The truth is that mental training is FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BE MORE PRODUCTIVE, PRESENT, AND IN CONTROL.
Remember whether we are at the line ready to shoot a game-winning shot, in the conference room prepared to give the final pitch to a career-altering client or making any decision that is sure to influence what happens next, we must manage ourselves before we can manage anything (or anyone) else!
Here are the tools I have used, intentionally and out of habit over the past few very stressful days!
Tool #1 that has come in very handy is my tried and true – CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL!
As this all began, I was working with an unwilling parent-patient while trying to cancel a class, make arrangements to appear in front of a class that was starting that day and finding someone to run the class in my absence…in 2 hours all while communicating with everyone who needed to know our new plans for the day.
At first, I started down the “this is not good” road and felt myself getting overwhelmed. We weren’t in a huge rush to get to the ER, it wasn’t life or death at that point. But we knew it needed to happen soon, especially if I had any chance of making the weekend trip, even if it was a day or so late.
So, I did what I saw Notre Dame’s pitcher do a few seasons ago in a tough situation and three balls on the batter. She put her glove on the ground, acted like she was tying her shoe (it looked tied to me, so this seemed intentional), took her time, looked around (and up) and forced the pace of the game in her favor. She stopped.
And I stopped. I mean I physically stopped. I put down the shovel. I stopped digging into the problem and decided to look at what I COULD DO!
I drew an imaginary line down the middle of my head and started moving thoughts…and feelings…into two columns. The first is what I could control. The second is what I could. I made a decision that I didn’t have time to think about what I could influence, which is the third step to the controllables list worksheet, and I needed to give all my energy to what I could control. Call in a replacement for my class. Get my dad ready to get in the car. Then on to the next steps. ONE. AT. A. TIME!
Tool #2 that came in handy was the PHYSIOLOGICAL SIGH. I needed to lower my heart rate, brainwaves and cortisol levels and THIS TOOL DOES IT ALL! My dad’s bloodwork was off the charts, I didn’t have time for my physical responses to fear, uncertainty and stress to disrupt my ability to process information and answer and ask questions. As I sat in the chair listening and thinking, my belly was filling and expelling just like I practiced…for times just like these!
Tool #3 that I took full advantage of was CHANGING MY POSTURE! If you’ve ever spent any time in the ER, you know that comfort is not at the top of the priority list. And space isn’t either. I felt myself getting tight…and small. I was trying to be out of the way as my shoulders kept creeping up to my ears and rounding toward my chest, our natural reaction when we sit and are stressed. Can you picture yourself “rolling in”?
It didn’t take long for this to become uncomfortable, so I changed it. I GOT AS BIG AS I COULD AS OFTEN AS I COULD! I raised my chin, straightened my spine, extended my arms like I did when I got a hit in the NCAA tournament and knew we were going to score and I TOOK UP SPACE…not to get in the way, but so I was ready to take action. I wasn’t prepping to fight the doctors, I was preparing to be alert, assertive, and more aware of my surroundings.
Aside from the popular power pose, Nair et.al. (2015) found that participants in their research with a bigger and more upright posture reported “higher self-esteem, better mood and lower fear compared to slumped participants.” They also found that the slumped participants used more negatively charged words and emotion-laden words. They also used more first-person singular pronouns…they were in their world and not in the world around them (another study found that those who use “I” in online posts are more likely to be depressed …fascinating!). They used fewer positive emotion words and spoke less overall!
Put simply, our posture influences our emotional responses. My me-search says the same!
I am so thankful for these tools. I am certain they have helped me be a better listener, thinker, communicator and daughter. Trust me, I’m not perfect or even close. I still go down the rabbit hole too often. But when I do, I know what to do…and that helps me do what I need to do to be the best for everyone around me…and for me!
I am as convinced as ever that the things I get to share every day are a game changer…not only for our performance but for life!
Manage the moments!
Julie
P.S. Let’s get tools to those you lead. Contact me to find out how! Send me a text at 234-206-0946 or an email at juliej@ssbperformance.com and schedule a call to see how we can enhance your program’s mental approach!
Julie Jones
Mental Performance Coach
SSB Performance
juliej@ssbperformance.com • 234-206-0946
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